Summary/Review: Start With Why | Book

Get "Start With Why Book" Here:

Start With Why Summary: I hated reading for the majority of my life. By the time I was 18, I don't think I had actually read a single book unless it was part of an assignment and I was just forced to do it. 

But ever since I went to first grade, my teachers constantly tried to inspire me to read, and it never worked. It just made me hate it even more. Then finally when I was about 18 or so, I started to find mentors, most of them online, and they were able to inspire me to read almost instantly. Now I can't even imagine a life where I don't read. 

So what was the difference between my teachers who tried to inspire me to read for 12 years and failed continuously and my mentors who were able to do it in basically no time?
start with why

Start With Why Review: Well, here it is in the context of the golden circle. My teachers started with the "what." You have to read this classic. It is a great book! You have to! Then they sometimes went to the "how," and said, this is how you read it.

But that was it. There was no "why." The funny thing is if I had asked, "why should I read it," they would probably get angry and start yelling.

How could you ask a stupid question like that? What do you mean why you should read a classic! And that anger would mostly come from the fact, that they haven't even thought about the "why," so they can't even articulate it.

Most people and even most organizations don't really know why they do what they do. But how were my mentors different from my teachers at school? Let's figure out in this review.

They had successful relationships. They had success in their businesses. And they said, "Look, do you want your girlfriend to be attracted to you?" "Do you want to build a successful business?" "Do you want to create powerful relationships instead of always getting your emails ignored just like everyone else?" And I was like, "Yeah, that's exactly what I want." And they were like, Okay, Good. Then pick up a book.

Oh and by the way, How to Win Friends and Influence People is a great book, and so is Rich Dad Poor Dad. I picked up both of those books and read them, and now reading is an inseparable part of my life. That is how great leaders inspire action.

Everybody starts from the what, and most people never even get to the why.

Most people create a product, and they want to tell you about all the amazing features and specifications. They want to tell you about how these features work so well. But the truth is, most people don't care about your "what" and "how." Most people don't want to be told the exact measurements of your CPU. They don't want to be told how the little chips interact with each other so amazingly. 

Instead, they want to be told something like this-

We value efficiency just like you do. Here's how we can help you be more efficient, and here's a product that will help you achieve exactly that. And that's exactly what I want to buy.

If you tell me my company's going to be more efficient, I want to know more. If you tell me how great your newest chip is, I really don't care.

So again, most people start from the "what" and never even get to the why. You're not going to make that mistake. You're going to know your why, and you're going to start with it because you realize that people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. 

So, that's the whole "Start With Why Review" and "Start With Why Summary", Hope you enjoyed reading it.

Review/Summary: The 5 Love Languages | Book

Get the '5 love languages' book here:

5 Love Languages Summary: There's a guy who thought he did everything he could to make his wife happy, but the wife was just sad. He couldn't understand why. He would say, "Look! I'm doing all these things for her..." But here was the reality-

He never told her how much he loved her. He never told her how beautiful she was. In his mind, it was like "Why is all that stuff necessary? I make sure to support the family, take out the trash, and fix things... I'm showing her real love, why are those extra words necessary?" 

Alright, so that is the equivalent of someone who speaks English going to China and talking with people who don't understand English, and being confused about why it's not working. Why don't they understand me! I'm speaking English, it's the best language in the world, how can they not understand me? 
5 love languages review

The whole idea here is that people speak different love languages. In this example, the man's love language was acts of service. And his wife's love language was words of affirmation.

He spoke the language of acts of service and expected his wife to feel loved, which is again kind of like talking to a Chinese person who doesn't speak English and being surprised and angry that he doesn't understand you.

So the "5 Love Languages Review" is expressed through the following:

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

One of the things that have made my relationship with my girlfriend so enjoyable for over two years now is that we have the same primary love language, and it's quality time which is closely followed by physical touch.

The most enjoyable thing for us is we cook a fantastic dinner, sit down and just spend time with each other. Also when we go on a date and just spend time together, and it's the same thing with physical touch. We can sit around for literally hours just holding and touching each other, and it doesn't have to be anything sexual.

That works out well, but for her 'words of affirmation' are quite important as well.

For me, I don't care so much about it. I don't have to be told every time how pretty I am. I'm fine without that.

But at the same time, I don't make the mistake of thinking, "Well, I don't need it, so it doesn't matter." No, I tell her how beautiful she is, because why wouldn't I? Even though that's something that I don't need but I find it really enjoyable to do it for her.

Now here's a little difference between the book and this. The whole idea of the "5 love languages summary" is to figure out what your partner's need is and then meet that need.

So let's say you've been married for 30 years, and her primary love language was acts of service. What that means is that she's not going to feel loved when you cook a fantastic dinner, sit down, look at each other and appreciate each other. She's going to feel loved when you take out the trash.

Now the advice is, figure out that what she needs and then do it. But you know what, You could do that in the short run, but in the long run that's going to lead to resentment. I just hate the whole idea of even thinking about it.

So I guess if you've been married for 30 years, and everything sucks, then yes, taking out the trash and meeting her need can make your relationship way better than it is. But my advice for an amazing relationship would be to pick a partner with roughly the same disposition.

It's kind of like you hate German, you just hate the way it sounds, you never want to hear it in your life, and then you start a relationship with a German girl. And you get the advice, "Well, just meet her need and speak German with her." And yes, it will be better than talking to her in a language that she doesn't understand, but it would also be way better to start with a French girl because you love French.

Try to find a partner who has a similar disposition. Realize that there will be slight differences, like 'words of affirmation' in my situation, and adjust to that if that's going to be something that you know you will enjoy. But otherwise, if it's something that you know you don't like, don't be like, "Well, I'll just accommodate that." I guess if you're in a relationship which you're not going to get out of for different reasons like marriage, then that can be the best thing that you can do, but otherwise, make sure you're going to enjoy meeting your partner's needs.

You don't want to be the guy who only enjoys physical touch during intimacy and stuck with a girl who just intends to snuggle on the couch for three hours, and then you're trying to accommodate that.

And you don't want to be the girl who enjoys going on amazing dates, spending quality time and stuck with a guy who doesn't feel loved by that and instead feels loved when you wash his dishes. So, that's the whole "5 love languages review".

Review/Summary: Outliers - The Story of Success | Book

Get "Outliers Book" Here:

Outliers Summary: They took a school of violinists and divided them into three groups. Teacher material, the merely good, and world class. And they asked them the same question, "Ever since you first picked up the violin, how many hours of practice have you put into it?"

Then a pattern emerged. Teacher material had practiced about 4,000 hours, the merely good had practiced about 8,000 hours, and the world class had practiced about 10,000 hours.

In study after study with pianists, chess players, master criminals, the same pattern emerged. So this became known as the 10,000-hour rule.

The conclusion was the following:

Outliers Book

Outliers Review: As long as you're good enough to get into the school, the number of deliberate hours of practice would be the only thing that would actually differentiate you from your competitors.

Now, "Outliers Book" 
by 'Malcolm Gladwell' is fascinating, but it doesn't really tell you how to become an outlier. So I've picked out three huge implications of the book about the success that should help all of us. 

The first one, and my favorite: When you're on your first few hours of doing something, don't expect it to be good!

You take someone to the tennis court, they play tennis for the first time, and they hit the ball ten times, and it hits the net every single time. And what do they say? Oh, well, maybe this isn't really my sport.

Do you know how long it took me to play my first tennis game?

Took me probably 10 hours of practice to play the most miserable tennis game ever played in the history of mankind. It consisted of three hits of both players back and forth, and that was it.

The second big implication: Talent is overrated.

Most of the time, what gets labeled as talent is hours and hours of practice that didn't get seen. So how do I know this?

Because I've been put on that pedestal before and when I was in college, I remember taking this slightly complicated statistics class. People were really struggling with it, the average would usually be a 50 on the exams, and I would get a 100 every single time. Now at the same time, all I did in those classes was sleep. That's it. I just went there and slept, while people sitting next to me would sit there, take notes and try to work hard.

Now, when the exams would come, they would look at me, and they would say, You're a genius! Okay, you're a GOD! Basically, I became this god. How do you do this? All you do is sleep, and look you got a 100, I got a 50.

But again, what was the reality?

The reality won't get easily disclosed because the person with success has way too many things that are cool going on, in his/her life. So I had a great social circle, I was doing great things, I wasn't going to sit there and explain what happened.

But what happened?

Well, here's the actual truth. So when we'd go back, I would spend hours and hours every night doing every single problem. That's by the way why I was so tired the next day in class. What they did was they would take those notes, and maybe spend 30 minutes or an hour in their room working on those mediocre notes. And that's really where the difference came from. Now, not only was it that, but it was the accumulated advantage.

Even if we had gone years back, when we were in middle school, I would've been the one putting in the hours and they wouldn't. And over time, it's 100s and 1,000 of hours of advantage. But again, in college, what is it? Some people are good at math, and some people aren't good at math.

The third big implication: As long as you're good enough, deliberate practice is what will set you apart.

Now, let's break down that 'as long as you're good enough' part of "Outliers Summary". I think if you're 40 years old, have never kicked a ball in your life, and you say, "Well, I want to be a professional soccer player," that's not going to work. But I think most of us have realistic goals. I think most of us are good enough. But, what we're lacking is the deliberate practice.

Again, if I go back to the college example, what those people would do when they would come into the class would be, 'Oh, I studied all night last night...'

And again, what did they mean?

Out of every hour, I spent 50 minutes eating, talking to my roommate, being on Facebook, and then 5 to 10 minutes actually doing the work.

You have to put in that fixed amount of hours of practice where you're solely focusing on getting better at your craft, and if you do that, that is what is going to set you apart. That's the whole "Outliers Review".

Review/Summary: The Power of Now | Book

Get the "Power of Now" Here:

The Power of Now Summary: Most people wake up and have a constant stream of negative thoughts until they go to bed. The majority of those thoughts will never actually happen. They don't even really matter or are simply going to be challenges that they're going to overcome.

It's funny that most people might not even realize this. It has become the norm.

Unless you've tried to become aware of your thinking or tried meditating, you might not even realize what your mind is doing to you. 

The Power of Now

The Power of Now Review:
Now the mind is probably one of the most powerful tools that we have, but the more powerful something is, the more dangerous it is if a person doesn't know how to be in control of it. It's literally like taking a chainsaw and giving to the guy who has no control over his limbs.

So why is that you want to become aware of this or as 'Eckhart Tolle' says, "watch the thinker?".

Because it's harming you. The more we study this, the more we realize that it's physically harming us.

If you go outside and look at people, you will see cortisol producing machines. That's literally what everyone has become. And it's apparent in how they walk and how they interact with each other. It is literally punishing you. Not only is it ruining your life, but it's also physically harming you.

So a lot of people have come to understand this, and most people have started to see the value in becoming present. But really, there are two obstacles to becoming present.

It is the past and the future.

People have an easier time reconciling the past with the present. Even though I'll still get questions like, "Oh, so uh, what are your biggest regrets in life?" I'm like, "Uh, I don't know." And They're like, "Come on! You gotta have some."

But I really don't know, because I don't think about that. It just doesn't make sense to talk something that isn't and let it negatively affect something that is. I think most people understand that. Maybe not in practical but at least in theory they understand that.

The actual problem comes with the future and the present moment. How do you reconcile those two?

I want to set those important goals, I want to have a compelling vision, but how do you reconcile that with being present to the moment?

The answer to that is - There are two kinds of people. The first one is the classic rat racer. In two years, he's going to get a $2 raise, and that's all he's anxious and stressed out about for the next two years. After he gets that $2 raise, he'll be very happy for the next 2 minutes, and then he'll be back to another two years of stress and anxiety for another $2 raise.

That's the life of most people, and then some of those people will pick up the Bhagavad Gita or Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now Summary" and completely misunderstand it and say, "Well, no more goals! That's just ego gratification! From now on I'm staying fully present to the moment!".

Honestly, anything's probably better than being in a rat race, but ultimately you don't want to get stuck in either one of those paradigms. So let's look at an analogy from Tal Ben-Shahar that should allow us never to have a problem in understanding how you can have a vision, goal and stay present to the moment at the same time.

Tal Ben-Shahar says, imagine you're a mountain climber. Okay, we all get it. Happiness isn't in the peak. If a helicopter picked you up and dropped you off at the top of the mountain, you wouldn't say, "Oh, look! I'm a happy mountain climber! Look at how proud I am of myself!"

Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak. And that's literally how you want to look at it. You set up that strong vision, that worthy goal of yourself which is the peak, and then you follow that path that leads you there while you stay present to the moment on the journey.

But then again there's going to be some guy that says, "Well, you're taking out all the spirituality from Power of Now," or whatever. But look, you're obviously misunderstanding it. 'Eckhart Tolle' does not say don't plan. If that were the case, the guy would still be sitting on a park bench instead of going on Oprah and producing multiple best-selling books. That's the whole "The Power of Now Review".

Summary/Review: Thinking, Fast and Slow | Book

Get 'Daniel Kahneman Thinking Fast and Slow' Here:

Thinking Fast and Slow Summary: Imagine you're one of the first human beings, and you're walking with your kid, and you see a lion. You don't know what a lion is, so you take your kid over to play with him, and the lion eats your kid.

So you go home, you're sad, but it's okay, you get your wife pregnant, and in five years, you're walking again with your new kid, and you see a lion far away. This time you hide with your kid and the lion eventually leaves and you both survive.

So you come out, you start walking with your kid again, and a bird fly’s over and all of a sudden your kid drops dead. You go home sad again, you get your wife pregnant again, and you make a promise to yourself. You're going to make sure that you hide your new kid from lions, and that you'll hide him if you see a bird flying over.

So there are two ways that we think. Both of the decisions that you made are based on the fast, automatic thought process, which 'Daniel Kahneman' calls System 1.

Thinking, Fast and Slow Summary and Review

Thinking Fast and Slow Review:

Lesson 1: Understanding System 1 and System 2

System 1 is where we find how irrational and illogical or just simply, how stupid we really are so it can lead us not to value System 1 or think that it's useless. If you had used your slow, more rational and logical thinking, you would have found that you were right about the lion, but the bird had nothing to do with your kid's death.

But, we should value System 1, because it has enormous benefits. It's the reason why we've survived. Yes, maybe at the cost of some ridiculous assumptions, like your kid dying every time a bird fly’s over, but if we had rationally thought about what a loud noise might mean and analyze it carefully instead of being scared and running away from it immediately, we wouldn't be here.

There are enormous benefits to both systems, the problem however actually arises when we use System 1 instead of System 2 when System 2 would be the appropriate system to use. And this leads us to all kinds of biases and fallacies that are not optimal. It's not optimal to think that if a bird flys over, your kid will drop dead.

Lesson 2: Understanding anchoring

If I were to ask you these two questions, what would your answer be?

1. Is the height of the tallest redwood more or less than 1,200 feet?

2. What is your best guess about the height of the tallest redwood?

So one group was asked these questions, And another group was asked the same questions except instead of 1,200 feet in the first question, this time they were asked whether the height of the tree was more or less than only 180 feet.

So what do you think the answers looked like? 

The first group's mean guess was 844 feet. 
The second group's mean guess was only 282 feet.

That is a HUGE difference. This is what is known as anchoring.

So ask yourself and throughout this article of "
Thinking Fast and Slow Review", how can knowing this be useful to you. Dan Ariely, one of my favorite economists, talks about how we have no idea about most things and what they should cost. If you're not an expert just like we aren't in most things, you don't know how tall a redwood tree should be, I don't know what a microwave should cost when I go buy it... Should it be $99, $199? I have no idea... So we use different ways to approximate what it should be, and anchoring is one of them. 

So again how is this useful to you personally? If you're the buyer, do you want to look at the MSRP and be anchored to that?

If you're selling something, how do you want to set up your MSRP to use anchoring to your advantage?

Lesson 3: Understanding the Science of Availability

One of the things that I truly enjoy about my life is the peace of mind I have while doing things. When I visit somewhere, I'm not worried about a terrorist attack, and when I fly there, I'm not worried about the plane crashing. And that peace of mind mostly comes from the fact that I'm not a big consumer of mainstream media.

But I meet people all the time who are always worried. "Have you seen how terrorism is taking over the world? What are we headed towards? Have you seen how planes are just crashing all the time now?"

But in reality, it's not like the chances of those two things have risen in some dramatic proportion. They're highly unlikely, and I mean a probability very close to zero that your plane will crash. And this is what is known as the science of availability. Even an event that has an almost non-existent probability of happening to you can be assigned a reasonable or even a high probability by you just because of what's available to you.

So again ask yourself, how can you use this concept to make your life better? Is it better to enjoy your life and realize that the world is not as bad as commonly portrayed, or watch the news every day where you'll be shown constant death and destruction because that's what sells?

Lesson 4: Understanding Loss Aversion

Now let's say I offer you to play a game with me. We're going to flip a coin, and if you win, you win a $1000. And if you lose, you lose a $1000. Do you want to play that game? If you're like most people, that is a game that you do not want to play.

What if we change the rules a little bit. If you win, you win $1100. And if you lose, you lose only a $1000. From an expected value point of view, that is a good game to play. But if I asked you to play that game right now, and you knew that there was a 50% chance of losing your $1000, if you're like most people you still wouldn't play even though there's also a 50% chance of winning $1100.

This is called Loss Aversion. Most people are very loss averse. In fact, you have to offer somewhere about $2000 to get people to play. Now, this might be interesting but again ask yourself, how can you use understanding this in your life?

You know you're going to be more convincing explaining to someone what they are risking losing, instead of what they could gain.

So maybe you want to convince someone that being an alcoholic is bad. How do you want to go about doing that? Do you want to talk about how they could gain a better job and make more money if they overcome this problem, or do you want to tell them how they're going to lose their loved ones like their spouse and children? 

The last two lessons have a more detailed approach to "Thinking Fast and Slow Summary".

Lesson 5: Understanding framing

Now imagine I'm your doctor and I have to do an operation on you and I tell you, "There is a %10 chance that you're going to die." I could also say, "There is a 90% chance that you're going to live."

Now from a statistical point of view, there is absolutely no difference in those two statements. BUT... In the first case, you're going to feel much worse than in the second.

This is known as framing. How you frame the same situation can have dramatically different consequences.

Again ask yourself, how can you use this? How can you use framing to make good things more appealing and convincing to your friends or your children or whoever else you want to influence?

Lesson 6: Understanding the Sunk Cost Fallacy

This is all about letting your past decisions influence your present decisions.

So think of John. He has no idea about poker, but he thought he would go gamble and play. Fast forward into the night, and John has now lost a $1000 and hasn't won anything. Now if John looks at the odds of his winning from this moment on, which would require the use of System 2, which he's probably not going to use, he would find that the best thing to do is entirely disregard the $1000 and get up and leave. The $1000 already lost has nothing to do with what his odds are starting from this moment. But John is going to be heavily influenced by the $1000 and most likely keep playing and losing even more.

Let me give you another example. Jen bought 50 boxes of candy a few months ago, so her house is full of candy. But she now finds out about the importance of eating healthy, and she realizes that the candy actually hurts her, but she can't just get rid of it. She paid money for it at some point, so it's tough for her, Even though the candy is going to hurt her.

Now you might look at John and Jen and say, "Heh... What a bunch of idiots!" But the reality is that you and I are no different... Look around your house right now. How much stupid shit have you bought over the years that are now just laying there taking up space, bothering you, you're never even going to use it again, but you don't get rid of it?

There is no difference between Jen or John and you in this situation. The chair that you bought gets in the way all the time, there is no room for it in your little house, it's causing you pain, but how can you get rid of it? You paid $59 for it at some point.

This is what is known as the sunk cost fallacy. Your past decisions shouldn't affect what is right for you now. If you paid money for a bunch of candy at some point, it doesn't mean that it is right for you to keep eating it. That's the whole "Thinking Fast and Slow Review".

Summary/Review: Man's Search for Meaning | Book

Get 'Man's Search for Meaning' Here:

I remember watching the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" a long time ago. I thought it was so beautiful that I couldn't stop crying and was so amazed. Then a few months ago, my girlfriend and I wanted to watch a movie, and we decided that's what we were going to watch. And this time, I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever seen and yet another senseless lesson from Hollywood.

The Pursuit of Happyness is a famous movie, but just in case you haven't seen it, let me recap it for you. It's an overview of the 'Man's Search for Meaning Summary'.

So this guy is very much poor and going through all this adversity, but he has a chance of one day becoming a stockbroker. And the entire movie mostly shows him constantly worried, constantly stressed, constantly pissed off, constantly yelling and getting into fights with his wife. But one day he might become a stockbroker and finally attain happiness.

I guess Hollywood's version of happiness is one day being a stockbroker. And at the end of the movie, of course, he gets the job, and he has now successfully pursued and attained happiness.

Now, there are so many things wrong with that, but let's start with this one. Man's Search for Meaning Review-

It's weird that someone would even try to pursue happiness because happiness cannot be pursued. It's not like a degree that you pursue for four years, and then you finally get it and can keep it for the rest of your life. It's more like a birth certificate that just comes with you. It's in your house; you just have to find it. It doesn't depend on how big or small your house is, it's in there.

So my first favorite idea from the book is, Happiness cannot be pursued. And to keep this from getting esoteric, let me tell you a story.

I remember when I was about 7 or 8 my parents left me with my grandma and we never really had food at home. And I don't mean that in the western sense of there's nothing that I like in the fridge. No, it was like there's nothing in the fridge that can be consumed as calories.

My grandma's only source of income was her pension. And I remember it was 13 Lari which is about $6 or $7, and sometimes they wouldn't even bring her that.

Now, there was also a little bakery at the end of the street that had this little pastry that I indeed liked. And it cost 20 Tetri which is about 10 cents. But most of the time, I didn't have money to buy it.

So I was out on the street a lot with other kids, and I soon figured out that there was this lemonade store. And they'd give you 5 Tetri if you brought them an empty lemonade bottle.

And I remember I'd wake up every day and I would go looking for bottles on the streets. Now it was pretty hard to find those bottles, but if I found four bottles that would mean I could bring them to the lemonade store and get 20 Tetri for them.

I remember how I was just the happiest kid alive. Every time I found a bottle, it was like the happiest moment of my life. Every time I went to the lemonade store and collected my 20 Tetri, it was an unbelievable feeling. And finally I would go to the little pastry store, and I would buy my little 20 Tetri pastry. I would sit out on the sidewalk and just enjoy it.

It was supposed to have raisins in it, But it was so cheap that they only put a few of them in there. I remember the occasional raisin bite and how I felt like the happiest kid alive. Now, let's come back to the "Man's Search for Meaning Review".

Now contrast that to today, there have been times where I'm eating a $100 steak, and I'm pissed off and unhappy because I ordered a medium. My night is now officially ruined guys. I'm going to be negative for the rest of the night.

Now, I'm not here to tell you that the stale, bland, 10 cent pastry is better than a $100 steak. I have a preference for the steak. There's nothing wrong with improving your life and being able to experience more. But that's all it is. Just the ability to experience more.

What I will guarantee you is that you either cultivate the potential to be happy and can be completely happy where you are right now. Or, I promise you there's absolutely nothing around you that you can chase to attain happiness.

Going from a 10 cent pastry to a $100 steak is like going from having to take the bus to owning a Ferrari. Yes, it's okay if your preference is driving a Ferrari over catching the bus. But remember, all that does is just let you experience more. That's it. So you're either happy on the bus right now just like you'll be happy when you have the Ferrari. Or you aren't happy on the bus right now, and you won't be happy in the Ferrari.

I look at my life right now, which is extremely good. But I also think of what it's going to be like in 5 years.

And in 5 years, the quality of my life is going to be a hundred times better than what it is right now. It will precisely be like going from the 10 cent pastry to a $100 steak all over again. But I have to keep reminding myself that I'm either going to be entirely happy with that pastry right now just as I'll be entirely happy with the $100 steak in five years. Or, I'm not going to be happy right now, and I'm not going to be happy in five years.

My second favorite idea is that there's a stimulus, which is what happens to you, which you can't control. And then there's response, which is what you do about it, which you have full control over.

But we treat the response like we have no control over it. It's just completely automatic for most people.

Something bad happens to you, you automatically get pissed off. But the reality is, you don't have to. You have complete control over it. Doesn't matter what kind of stimulus you're presented with, no one can ever take away the ability for you to choose whatever response you like.

So let's say you're in the kitchen, and you break a bunch of new plates that you just bought. Now, what's the automatic natural reaction? Getting pissed off, right? You have to clean it up now. Plus you broke a bunch of plates that you just bought.

Or, what could be your other response? Cool, it's just a bunch of plates. It's not a big deal. It's indeed great because it's giving me an opportunity not to get pissed off by the stupidest little things. Like, you can have gratitude for breaking the plates and having the opportunity to practice your virtue. Remember you can pick whatever response you like. It's all up to you.

Someone puts you down? Great! You're one step closer to not caring about what people think of you. Or, you can go home and cry about it. It's all up to you.

All the kids I grew up with, including myself, went through a lot of adversity. You know what happened to most of them? They turned into alcoholics and drug addicts. You know what their excuse is? "I had to see my dad beat my mom. My parents never had time to take care of me. I was so poor that I had no opportunity."

You know what my reason is for the minimal accomplishments I have at 22-years-old? The exact same thing.

There's no way most people are going to have the same work ethic as me. Most people don't know what it's like to be 7 and out on the street collecting dirty bottles so that you can feed yourself. They just won't be able to compete with me, I'm sorry. And I'm so thankful for every bullshit experience I've had, and I wouldn't change a single thing if I could.

That's the whole "Man's Search for Meaning Summary". Remember that, there's a stimulus which you can't control, but the response is all up to you. Step in between that gap and realize that everything can be taken away from you but one remaining thing that cannot be is the freedom to choose.

Review/Summary: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living | Book

Get 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' Book Here:

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Summary: I spent most of my life always worrying about stuff. Now fast forward to today, and it's extremely rare that I worry about anything, and when I do, it usually lasts about 20-30 seconds until I catch myself and stop. And cultivating that has made my life a hundred times better.

So I think if you're looking for ways to stop worrying and stressing, you understand the benefits and I don't have to sell you on it. The following review on how to win friends and influence people will do the work.

But just to give you a very short summary: You can actually start having time to enjoy life. You won't be constantly miserable, and you won't be destroying your health and making yourself regularly sick. And I think that sounds pretty good. 
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Review and Summary

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Review-

The first Big Idea is: Ask Yourself, What's the worst thing that can happen?

I remember the first year in college always worrying about my grades. What was I going to do if I got a B+ instead of an A? Well, surely my life would be over, and I would never amount to do anything in life. Like, that has been severely the thought process going through my 17-year-old head.

Now fast forward five years, I was cleaning a few days ago and found my diploma in some weird place in my house. Haven't even opened the box since I got it, and will never even end up using it for the rest of my life.

That is a perfect example of what your brain does to you. It starts to freak out with uncertainty. If you don't clearly define the worst thing, your brain will find a way to equate you getting a B+ to you completely ruining your life. But in reality, the worst thing is never really that bad.

I get messages all the time from people saying, "Hey, I'm really inspired by your blog." "I want to start my own, but I'm experiencing a lot of resistance." And here's the thing... So Did I.

Your brain's default is literally to think, "I will write an article. People will hate it." "Everyone will make fun of me." "People will get angry." "They will come and burn down my house."

Like seriously, those are your either conscious or subconscious thoughts. What is the reality though?

The worst thing that will happen to you, in reality, is a negative comment. That is it. And it's the same thing with everything else like starting a business or giving a public speech.

I have no experience speaking in front of massive crowds, so if I delivered a speech right now, it would probably suck. I might have stage-fright, I might be awkward, but I would never, never refuse to do it.

Why? Because what's the worst thing that can happen?

It's not that the whole world is going to make fun of me, it's not that people are going to try to kill me everywhere I go after my speech. No! It's just some guy in the crowd who never even got invited up on the stage thinking that my speech isn't that great!!

Like who cares?

And look, I spent the first 17 years of my life washing my clothes with my hands with some shitty Russian detergent. So what's the worst thing that can happen?

That Now I have to wash a couple of shirts with this amazing coconut soap I have for a few days until the washing machine gets fixed? Or, that I can't wear my favorite shirt, so now I have to pick from the twenty other excellent shirts in my closet?

I mean, it's ridiculous! Always ask yourself, what's the worst thing that can happen? Always, define the worst outcome, and you'll soon start to realize how ridiculous most of your worries are, which now leads us to my next favorite idea... The absurdity of it all.

So I have a friend who's always worried about everything. And he called me, and he started to tell me about all the stuff he's stressed out and concerned about. And I said, "Okay. Look. Just Stop."

'Dale Carnegie How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' book tells a story of this guy in World War II, who's stuck in a submarine and knows that he'll be dead in the next few hours.

He sits there thinking about all the stuff he used to worry about at home, and how absurd it was, and makes a promise to never waste his life again like that if he survives.

Now, that might be hard to resonate with, so let me give you a more contemporary example.

People are having their heads chopped off every single day. Every single day! The only reason it's not you is that you were born in a specific place and they weren't. That's it!

Now going back to my friend, I told him, "Look, here's what I want you to do." "Every day, you will start your morning by watching somebody's head being chopped off." "And then you'll go about the rest of the day." And he started freaking out about how he can't do that and how he doesn't like blood and whatever.

Now, here's the thing. I know that's really crass and morbid, but I don't care! If you don't worry about stuff, Great! You don't have to watch anything. But if you're worried about stupid shit all the time, you have a disease! So you either treat yourself or never ask about how you can stop worrying again. EVER.

Here's what I will guarantee you. If you start your day by watching someone else have their head chopped off, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing could possibly happen to you for the rest of the day that you could get pissed off about and not feel like a complete retard.

Yes, when you've seen someone's head chopped off, you will have a weird feeling inside you.

As soon as you start to complain about how you deserve to be paid more at your job, or what you're going to do now since you got a B+ instead of an A, or how your washing machine is broken. You'll realize that if that guy had been given the chance to live and wear that same dirty shirt for the rest of his life without ever being able to wash it, He would have been the happiest man alive.

Realize the absurdity of it all in "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Review".

The third Big Idea: Staying Busy.

Now I don't mean the average busy person. Actually, those are the people who worry the most. The guy who works 12-hour days, and then comes home and watches Fox all night worrying about whether some guy can marry another guy or about all the foreigners who will come and take his job, you know, because he is the only one entitled to that job. I'm not talking about that kind of busy.

Here's how I like to stay busy-

Read a book that I like. 

Go to the gym with my girlfriend. 

Play around on the Piano and Compose. 

Cook fantastic food.

Work on a project I'm passionate about.

Now, here's what happens when you do that. Your brain can't think of two things at one time. It just doesn't have that capability. You can try right now if you want. You can't think of your broken washing machine and at the same time, think of how much you love playing soccer. It's not how your brain works.

So the best way to get rid of the negative thoughts in your head is to start putting positive thoughts in there. Get busy with what you love, and your brain simply won't even have the ability to worry. Then you won't even ask questions like "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living".

And finally, a question that really resonated with me.

Suppose, here's what you're going to do in your life.

You're going to work and worry your entire life so you can gather a bunch of stuff, like your house and all the stupid shit in it. Now... if you're lucky, after 50 years of all that worry and stress, all your stuff might be worth a million dollars.

Here's the question, would you sell your Legs for a million dollars?

Let me ask you this, would you sell your Legs for a billion dollars?

I wouldn't. And you probably wouldn't either.

Would you sell your arms for another billion dollars? No? There you go, you already have something that you value at two billion dollars! Hopefully more. But, you don't have to be all Zen, you could be a greedy capitalist like me and understand this.

Now here's what you're going to do. You're going to ignore and not utilize something worth two billion dollars because you're too busy worrying and stressing about the things that might amount to 1 million dollars at the end of your life. Oh, and you'll be considered really lucky if that happens by the way!

Alright, I don't know if you see how crazy that is, but that's kind of like having a huge mansion, a personal jet, every single car you ever wished for, and not using and enjoying those things because you're too worried about one day being able to buy a Corolla. That is crazy! …and sad. You already have everything that you value at billions and billions of dollars.

The message "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Summary" conveys is that stop ignoring, wasting, and treating it like shit for hours and days, so you can worry and bitch about how your phone bill went up from a $100 to a $120.

Review/Summary: Men are from Mars Women are from Venus | Book

Get 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' Here:

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus Summary
A husband comes home with a huge check for the month, but his wife isn’t happy. 

She thinks, “I didn’t get any attention the entire month so that he could bring home this check?”

He thinks, “I worked hard the entire month so that I could bring home this check and make us happy, and she doesn’t appreciate it.”

This has become the standard narrative in relationships and simply stems from ignorance about how men and women assign points. Think of these as happiness points.

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus Review and Summary

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus Review: If Britney gets one video game for Bill, he assigns that one point. If Britney were to get him ten video games, he would be really really happy and assign it ten points. But what Bill doesn’t realize is that the opposite is not true for how Britney assigns points.

If Bill gets Britney one rose on his way home, that will be one point for her. If Bill got 10 roses for Britney, guess what, it would still be one, just one point. Maybe if he got fifty roses, then it would be two points, but the big idea is that she assigns points very differently.

Little things are assigned just as much value as big things.

I can make my girlfriend her favorite coffee in the morning, send her a flirty text on lunch break, come home and show her how excited I am to see her and give her a kiss, and she will be much happier than if I had completely disregarded her feminine need, and simply brought home an expensive gift at the end of the day. So that's why we say 'women are from venus men are from mars'.

Now with this said, let’s address that one guy. There is always that one guy who tells me, "What you say sounds nice but you’re wrong, that’s not what girls really want."

The problem isn’t that what we’re telling him is wrong. The problem is that he can’t do the little things meaningfully. His kiss actually does not generate that one point for her. None of his little attentions do because he has no understanding of the feminine. So, guess what, the girl is obviously going to pick a gift or whatever, that is at least guaranteed to give her a point. It also becomes obvious that she isn’t with him for the right reasons, but then again, they will both settle for now, until their next co-dependently mediocre relationship.

We hope you like this article on "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus".

Review/Summary: How to Win Friends and Influence People | Book

Get the book here:

How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary: When I meet a person, and he tells me he plays the violin, I become fascinated. The first thing I want to do is hear him play.

When I meet a person, and he tells me he’s a painter, I instantly want to see his paintings. I want to ask him about what he paints, what his lifestyle is like. I want to ask him why my paintings look like I’m five years old.

If I meet a doctor, I instantly want him to tell me his craziest patient stories. I want to know what his schedule is like. I want to know how that affects his family.

But was I always like this? NO!
How to Win Friends and Influence People Review and Summary

How to Win Friends and Influence People Review: I used to be interested in only one sport, one instrument, one profession, one everything. And it was obviously the one thing that I did. If I didn’t do something, it couldn’t possibly have value or be interesting to me. I would sit there and pretend I was listening when all I really did was think about the things I was going to say when the other person was done. And once the person was done, I would unload all my really interesting and important stuff onto them.

If your social interactions suffer, one of the biggest reasons might be this.

Lesson 1: You need to become genuinely interested in other people

By doing this, you will create a beautiful variety in your life, and also have great social experiences because you won’t be sitting there creepily excited about what you’re going to say when the person is done talking.

Lesson 2: The second important lesson I want to talk about is the importance of remembering that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language

I used to meet people, and I was so concerned about all the social pressures and expectations, that I would miss the most important part. And that part is when the person tells you his name. I would hear it, but in about 30 seconds I would realize I had no idea what that person’s name was. Not only did that make my interactions awkward, but it also made me unable to connect with people on a deeper level. And unless you have some kind of flawless memory, you probably identify with this. So what I started doing was not only focusing using on the name more but using an effective technique.

When the person says, “Hey, my name is Bill.” Instead of saying, “Nice to meet you,” try saying, “Nice to meet you, Bill.” You have just repeated his name back to him, and that helps tremendously with actually remembering the person’s name. You will also start to notice that people feel more connected to you and respond better when you use their name, and it is because a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Now, the following story from 'Dale Carnegie books' combines two important lessons:

Lesson 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

Lesson 4: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely

"How to Win Friends and Influence People Review" Continuation- 

A few years ago, I went out with my friends, and by the end of the night they were all drunk, and I was driving them back. They are all yelling and screaming the whole way, and suddenly they all decide they are hungry and want Taco Bell. So I take the exit on the highway, and I have no idea where I am, it’s 3 AM in the morning, and I see I’m going the wrong way and need to turn around. All of a sudden I have to make a split-second decision, I’m about to turn around, but then I see the no turnaround sign. I still turn around. I drive to Taco Bell, and as I approach to order, I see police lights in the rear mirror.

The policeman comes up and says, “Hey, how are you doing tonight?” And I said, “I’m doing well, sir, how are you?” He says, “I’m doing well, too,” and asks me if I know why he pulled me over. Now, in the next second, my social conditioning kicks in. I want to say no. I want to say I didn’t know where I was. I want to say it’s really late; there are no cars around anyway. I want to say I didn’t see the sign. I want to say I’m being responsible, and my friends are creating all this chaos in the car, and I couldn’t think straight.

Once that second is up, however, Carnegie’s principles kick in, and I say, “Yes, sir. I turned even though I saw the no turnaround sign. I panicked and made a poor decision.” As I said this, his face changed completely. It looked so confused like he had never heard anything like this before. After some silence, I said, “I know I made a mistake and I’m willing to face the consequences for it. Thank you for doing your job.” And he kept looking back in confusion and amazement, then smiled as he had never been that happy in his entire life and said this while he handed me my driver’s license, “Thank you for being responsible and taking care of these guys, and I hope you have a good night.”

Now some people might hear this and say, “Okay, you admitted you were wrong. Good. You made him feel important. Good. But you weren’t being genuine.” And look, could I have pulled this off without being genuine? Possibly. But I do really appreciate that policeman doing his job. I really do. I appreciate him just like I would appreciate him if he pulled over a huge SUV with a bunch of drunk guys in it before they crashed into my girlfriend’s car and killed her while she’s driving on her way home.

These are the four essential lessons from "How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary"-

1. You need to become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

4. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.