Men are from Mars Women are from Venus Summary: A husband comes home with a huge check for the month, but his wife isn’t happy.
She thinks, “I didn’t get any attention the entire month so that he could bring home this check?”
He thinks, “I worked hard the entire month so that I could bring home this check and make us happy, and she doesn’t appreciate it.”
This has become the standard narrative in relationships and simply stems from ignorance about how men and women assign points. Think of these as happiness points.
Men are from Mars Women are from Venus Review: If Britney gets one video game for Bill, he assigns that one point. If Britney were to get him ten video games, he would be really really happy and assign it ten points. But what Bill doesn’t realize is that the opposite is not true for how Britney assigns points.
If Bill gets Britney one rose on his way home, that will be one point for her. If Bill got 10 roses for Britney, guess what, it would still be one, just one point. Maybe if he got fifty roses, then it would be two points, but the big idea is that she assigns points very differently.
Little things are assigned just as much value as big things.
I can make my girlfriend her favorite coffee in the morning, send her a flirty text on lunch break, come home and show her how excited I am to see her and give her a kiss, and she will be much happier than if I had completely disregarded her feminine need, and simply brought home an expensive gift at the end of the day. So that's why we say 'women are from venus men are from mars'.
Now with this said, let’s address that one guy. There is always that one guy who tells me, "What you say sounds nice but you’re wrong, that’s not what girls really want."
The problem isn’t that what we’re telling him is wrong. The problem is that he can’t do the little things meaningfully. His kiss actually does not generate that one point for her. None of his little attentions do because he has no understanding of the feminine. So, guess what, the girl is obviously going to pick a gift or whatever, that is at least guaranteed to give her a point. It also becomes obvious that she isn’t with him for the right reasons, but then again, they will both settle for now, until their next co-dependently mediocre relationship.
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